Have Self-Compassion For Your Mistakes

Life Is Messy!life-is-messy - http://www.snipview.com/q/Life%20Is%20Messy

Yep! Life can be a real bummer sometimes. Sometimes, we make mistakes, we screw up and then things really get messy. We are doing the best we can, we think “I got this” and then we drop the ball. I know it is hard to believe but this has happened to me. I have made mistakes. There. I said it.

What about you? Have you ever messed up? Surely you have a cousin that has, right? Okay. You know what I’m talking about? Now we are on the same page.

The problem with messing up is that many of us do not cut ourselves any slack and we are hard on ourselves big time. Many of my clients come in on the “OMG I failed” track. Their inner critic (gremlin, Monkey Mind, etc.) has been pounding them upside the head – over and over – “you messed up girl”, “you should be more/less______”, “if only”, “I can’t”, “I’m not _____enough”. [Fill in the blanks]

It’s one thing to fall down, get back up, dust yourself off, learn from your boo boo’s and move on to the next challenge. That’s practicing the Bounce Back Factor or B.B.F. (resiliency). But it’s a whole other thing to throw yourself on the spit.

I want to be clear here. It is not useful!

Therefore, it is time for a lesson on perspective. Put your high noticing glasses on to see faults clearly, clean up any mess you made of things and move on. Who’s in charge here? Your Monkey Mind or you? Try to learn something from the experience. Punishing yourself keeps you from contributing to the world and making it a better place. Besides, being in a Monkey Mind Attack is undermining, unattractive, and erodes your self-worth.

A component of resiliency and the B.B.F. is practicing self-compassion.

How compassionate are you with yourself?

Let me put it this way.

Would you talk to your dearest friend the way your inner critic talks to you?

I would hope not. Do yourself a favor. Get your fabulous self off the spit and go to:


and take the Self-Compassion assessment. It doesn’t take too long, I promise.

I want to hear from you, let me know how you did and what your reflections are. Are you spot on and full of warm fuzzys for yourself? Or are you a “kick-yourself-in-the-butt-oholic”? Self-compassion can be strengthened and you can practice improving your compassion level with the various practices on the site. I want you to bring your best self to the world. Get that self-worth going on girl!

In my next post I will be discussing self-awareness and the practice of empathy, another principle of the Art of Sacred Selfishness (or not). I may introduce you to my brother, Dana who taught me all about resiliency and practicing the Art of Sacred Selfishness.

Don’t forget to give me your reflections about your Self-Compassion assessment!

Needing more self-compassion? Register for the September “I’m Worth It” Retreat with Coach Darla here. Early Bird pricing only good through August 5th, so sign-up soon!

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One Comment on “Have Self-Compassion For Your Mistakes”

  • Bennie Scott July 30th, 2015 2:02 pm

    I tended toward the middle third though a little high on Isolation. This kind of surprised me to know that the scores indicate that two thirds of others suffer as much or more…haha. Hmmmmm

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