Zippity-Do-Da!

A while back, I had an opportunity to step up and step out.  Literally.

I climbed a 30 foot ladder, stepped off a platform and zipped through the air to the ground with applause and yells of encouragement echoing in my ears.

You should have been there.  It was a real hoot.

At least I can say that NOW.

I must say, the experience provided me with several challenges and obstacles before the hoot factor kicked in.

Uncertainty –  Was the choice to take this adventure a good idea? What was I thinking?

Doubt – What about my physical prowess?  I’m overweight!  I’m out of shape!

Comparison – The other participants are younger than me.

Forecasting – How far UP is that platform anyway?  Is my will current?  Did I leave my emergency number with someone?  I’m gonna die here.

Being paranoid – This rickety thing isn’t safe.  I know I look like a fool.  Do I have my lipstick on?

Doubt, worry and FEAR that I would fail hung like a thin stretched thread in my mind and I had the evidence to prove it.

How will I hold on to those little, bitty bars on that telephone pole?  This is real scary and I can’t do this.  I won’t do this.  What if I can’t?  What if I slip and fall?  The  platform…it must be jutting out 7- no – 8 feet past the pole!  They were idiots to build such a rickety, ridiculous thing.  What a rip off this is.   Remind me why I did this?  Because you’re a idiot you idiot.  I didn’t sign up for this.

Oh.  Wait a minute.  Yeah I did.  (Remember, THAT’S where you left the emergency number you fool.)

Yes, I was frozen with worry, doubt and fear.  You’ve been there.  And you didn’t have to climb a rickety, rotten pole to be there.  So what’s next?

Be willing.

The 30 foot plus climb was really a bitch once my asthma kicked in. The climbing rungs were too small for my size 11+ feet (I wear a size 7).  But I was willing.

Ah Ha!  I will do a short cut – after all, rules are meant to be broken.

Then (I think it was God speaking), “Ms. Phillips, I am sorry but you have to go back and do it the way we told you.  Your way isn’t safe.  We need you to follow the instructions, come the way we showed you so you will be safe.  Do you understand?”

You’re kidding me, right?  Thanks a lot “coach”, God whoever.

Nevertheless, I was willing.

Well, I did climb up that pole with my big assed shoes and little bitty rungs…wheezing all the way.  I lumbered up and over the platform the SAFE way after my miserable attempt to do a short cut had my ‘adventure specialist’ (who knew?) God speak to me.

Yea!  I’m on the platform.  Ureka!  I’ve done it!  And the fruits of my labor we’re paid off in spades.  All my buddies were there!  Clapping me on the shoulder, congratulating me, acknowledging my success.  Wow!

The ‘adventure guide’ God, was very handsome and I was staring into the bluest eyes on the planet.

Yee Haw,!  The hoot factor was kicking in.

So what does this story have to do with coaching and you, my valued clients?

When your are transitioning to something new or different, doubt, worry and fear WILL kick in.  It is human nature.    It is what everyone goes through when they are up to something BIG.  When the challenges of leadership seem insurmountable or the journey gets rocky…well it gets rocky.  Big time.

And that’s the truth.

So when doubt, worry and fear strike, your frozen and stuck, ask yourself, “Nevertheless, am I willing?”

And when you REALLY are struggling, get a coach.

Preferably a blue-eyed one.

Oh – And I still had to step off the platform and ZIP.  Yee – Haw!

*Coaching Tool:  When in doubt, worry or fear ask the question “Nevertheless, am I willing?”  Write it on a 4 X 6 card and repeat 3 times a day.  Post its wherever you can.

“I’M TOO BUSY”

You know you are too busy when:

• Your dog has figured out how to walk itself
• You shout “hurry up” at the microwave
• You eliminate moisturizer from your nightly routine to shave 20 seconds off your day
• You offer more money to your trainer to skip your work out appointment
• Waiting for the green light seems like an undeserved vacation
• You decide to drink less water because the trips to the bathroom burns up precious minutes
• You announce to your lifestyle coach you’ve solved all your problems and are quitting coaching to save 1 1/2 hours a month
• You order the risotto because chewing chicken takes up too much time

Do I have your attention?

It does takes time to care about the things that matter to us. When we get “too busy” to focus on what really matters to us, we lose pieces of ourselves.

Busyness breeds indifference.

Go here, create your member account and take the “Busyhholism Inventory” assessment.

That is unless you’re too busy.

It is the ordinary woman who knows something about love; the gorgeous ones are too busy being gorgeous.

Katherine Hepburn

STUCKIFIED

Sniff.  Sniff.  The 2012 Summer Olympics have come and gone.  Like many people, I was glued to the TV like white on rice.

Whatever.  You get my drift.

Youth from all over the globe showed up and suited up.  The best of the best.

Everyone was there.  Catherine.  William.  Harry.  The Queen.

I couldn’t help but notice how the words and phrases used by “Prime Time Bob” and “Late Night Mary” may also describe the characteristics of a leader and the qualities of teamwork.

I was inspired.

Focus on something that can move you forward because the thunderbolt can hit anytime (attributed to Coach Pat Riley).

Put it together.

In the present.

In the qualifying he looked uncharacteristic and made mistakes.  But today [when it counted] he produced.

Destiny is out of his own hands and he will have to rely on his team.

Failure and disappointment.

Spirit.  Purpose.

Teamwork personified.

Catapults.

Go USA.  Go girls.  Girl power.

Unlikely pair won gold.

Trust your training.

Mental.

Redemption.

You don’t have to be anywhere near the podium to make an impact.  (Oscar Pesorus, double amputee)

When I am stuckified and everything is on the line.

When in a nanosecond a decision determines winning or losing.

When making that decision that can slingshot your company into forward, positive motion.

Call on the memory of the Olympians.  What would they do?

*Coaching Tool:  Put leadership and teamwork words and qualities on your vision map.

One of the gifts I receive every day is the opportunity to work with my clients and lift them up to better see, understand, and know who they really are so that they show up in the world comfortable in their own skin.

Brilliance Breakthrough and Branding
with Archetypes Workshop
October 8, 2011
(From left to right: Jennifer Flowers, Darla Powell Phillips,
Cecilia Engquist, Mary Kate Flanagan, Stacy Ryan, Vicki Manning)
 

You know.  Showing up and standing out.  Being in their brilliance.

So what happens next?  They begin to have more FUN.  They start kicking the dust up a bit.  They go into a let’s get this party started mode.

Oh yeah.  Things are happening baby.

They are landing the career of a lifetime.
They are starting that business they have always wanted.
They have found “the one” and are having babies.
They are improving business practices, making more money having a lot more time.
They are traveling the world now that the (thank God) kids are grown.
They are jumping out of the box, into the fire of a whole new gig that really turns them on.  Whatever.
They are having a LOT more FUN.

And then, the people around them are starting to have more fun, too.  It’s contagious.

And you know what that means…more people in the world having more fun!

They will be if I have anything to do with it!

It all starts with knowing your unique brilliance.

3 Steps to Fun + Special = ATTRACTIVE!

Here is a 3-step exercise you can do on your own to get your groove and brilliance on.

1. What part of your personality do you try to cover up, hide or disown?  Whatever personality trait (at least one or two) you possess that got you into trouble as a kid is the blind spot waiting to be discovered.  This is the one (or more) key component that needs to show up in your marketing and in your life!
2. Brainstorm a list of words and phrases that represent that personality trait.  Consider words like elegant, fun, or youthful.  Now, think Jack Sparrow here…get out of the box and swing from the masts or bird’s nest or whatever Jack would swing from.  Brainstorm on!  Get some friends and collegues involved.
3. Cut loose, act up, get sassy and let your personality shine on in your next conversation, email, newsletter, web copy or flyer.  Take a big breath (or gulp) and go for it.

– Give yourself permission to come from that place within.

And, if you struggle with this just give me a ring and I will give you permission.

Why do I care so much?  Because we need more fun in the world for God’s sake.  We need more happen-makers in the world.   We need to show up, stand in our brilliance and    be our power.

So dig deep.

Check out the blind spot.

Kick up some dust with those boots and those stilettos.

Let’s get the party started!

Your blind spot.  The area where your view is obstructed.  The loss of vision.

What are you pretending not to see about yourself?  What part of yourself have you forgotten about?  Do others know something about you that you don’t know?

What’s the secret?  Our blind spots are waiting to be uncovered.  We don’t see all of our gifts and our full potential is not fully realized.  If we don’t show up in our true brilliance and clearly see everything about our product, our services, ourselves, then our clients won’t either, and certainly not your partner in a relationship.

Yep! The ‘ole blind spot.  It is hiding buried treasure inside of us, waiting to be uncovered.  Discovered.

Are you willing to dig?  If so, the Jack Sparrow in you will have a field day.

If you are interested in reaching your full potential, check out this weekend’s workshop, Brilliance Breakthrough and Branding with Archetypes: Creating Instant Attraction, Effortless Marketing and Ultimate Success in Business and Life!

It’s a cool workshop in a cool place.  Unique, innovative, fun and sexy.  And as usual, Coach Darla will feed you!

Powerful people (who care about how they show up in the world) will be there.

People like Jack Sparrow and a few of his pirate buddies.

Whether you are marketing for your business or strengthening your personal brand, dig deep and check out the blind spot.

Be a happen maker.  Make Captain Jack proud.

As I write this I am at the ABWA National Conference in Irving, Texas. The women I have met are full of pizazz and energy. I think I am in Goddess Heaven! I have met gurus in academia, head honchos of corporations, ladies in multi-level marketing businesses and other business owners, women who work in middle and upper management…All kinds of gals! I am feeling good and my energy is up. Everything is flowing and fun.

Hmmm… Now I get it. They have the attraction factor and so do I.

These women are lights on and being who they really are… Goddess in every sense of the word. They are real and authentic, know who they are and they know their brand. They know that success in business is about relationships and connections with others and they demonstrate this consistently.

I am impressed with these women. Their Goddess is shining very bright (so much so that I have been wearing my sunglasses most of the time!) and I want to be around these women.

It is energizing and fun to be with other like-minded women who are aware and conscious of their personal brand and they show up that way in everything that they do.

These are women who are their brand. They are aware of their own needs and the needs of others and reach out with curiosity. They have a good pulse on their business and themselves and are visionaries, looking ahead into the 21st century. They know how to showcase themselves and have relationships that are easy and fruitful. They are energized with spirit and fun.

I like hanging out with these gals. I want what they have. I am attracted to fun and easy people.

How about you? Who do you hang with? Do they have the attraction factor? Do you?

Discover your attraction factor and the core of your being by understanding your unique style, character and personality in my latest workshop.

There is nothing else like it out there. It’s live and it is coming up quick… Find out more here.

Yee Haw!

Dame Elizabeth Taylor who recently passed away at the age of 79, was a Goddess wasn’t she?  You sure don’t question what she stood for.  What images are conjured when you think of her?  Special.

She exuded pure sexuality (think Cleopatra and Richard Burton), enduring love (Richard again – and many others) and deep friendship (Michael Jackson).  Elegance, indulgence and romance was her unique brilliance.  These enduring qualities represent the ancient archetype of the Romantic and the spiritual contract of “heart-to-heart” connection.

She was luminous.

Why did she attract so much attention? I don’t think that she was a calculating diva; I think she took the parts of her that resonated with the public and used them to her advantage.  She was a strong, sexy gal that knew what she wanted and knew instinctively how to get it.   Her core values appealed to our deep need to be loved and appreciated.  She got the attention she did because of the way she lived her life.  Her life spelled P-A-S-S-I-O-N.

She had a brand and she lived it to the hilt.

Do you know your core values?  What do you stand for?  What is your unique brilliance?  Know your unique brand and live it to the hilt.  Have people understand and “get” who you really are and what you do.  Use your brilliance and brand to attract the love you want, the ideal clients you want.

Use your brand to coach yourself through the rough spots and the blocks that keep you stuck in frustrating situations.  Learn your gifts, strengths and challenges of your brand archetype and how to leverage them to get the life you want.

The world has changed.  Just “good enough” is just not good enough anymore.  Standing in your power is more important than ever.  Especially for women.

Brilliance is luminous, provocative, engaging, and passionate.  Just “good enough” can never possess these qualities.  Be your brilliant, authentic self.  Be real.  Be committed to doing what you do best, no matter what.

“I don’t believe people are looking for the meaning of life as much as they are looking for the experience of being alive.”  – Joseph Campbell

I woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.   I was cranky and totally frustrated with everything and everybody.  As the day wore on I only got more of it.  What’s the point?  What am I doing here?  Why am I here?   Hey – I am only human.

Have you ever been here?

Sometimes we may lose sight of our dreams.  We may get into our heads and analyze what is not working.  We may worry, complain and whine as to why we aren’t moving forward.  We even find reasons and excuses for not attaining a goal or even worse, blame someone or something else for our failure.

But deep inside, there is a voice that inspires us to do our work.  It tells us that we are here on the planet to make a contribution…a contribution only we can make.  It is your heart voice and it speaks clearly.  But sometimes our head gets in the way and clouds our vision of what our true purpose is.  We may accomplish a lot but we are too tired and distracted to enjoy ourselves.  We lose sight of those things that really have meaning for us.  We can’t hear the heart voice – our truth.

We can live our life on purpose by answering the questions that interest us.  The voice of truth inside us will always have the answer so that we can re-connect with the energy to live the life we  are meant to live.

So my question today is :  Am I willing to make the contributions I am here to make?

What side of the bed will you wake up on tomorrow and what question will you ask?

The years have swooshed by since I embarked on my coaching journey 10 years ago.  It just doesn’t seem possible that all that time has gone by.  But when I think about all the change that’s happened in the past decade, the attack on the World Trade Center Towers on September 11, the demise of Enron a few months later, and now the implosion of the world’s most highly respected financial companies – I am staggered by just how challenging this period has been in the lives of people, no matter what their lives are like.

These events, and the fundamental changes they have caused in the business world, make the coaching profession more important – and necessary — than ever before in my lifetime.  The rules in corporate America have changed.  Sometimes there don’t even seem to be any rules.  More people have decided to own their own business.  The structure, the security, the traditional paths to success don’t exist anymore, and the individual needs to make his or her own way through what sometimes looks and feels like chaos.  It’s pretty hard to do that all alone.

Because the need for coaches is so great, it’s critical that the coaching industry step up to the plate with all of its potential for making a lasting, positive impact on peoples’ lives.  It needs to offer clarity as to its purpose, to state what it will do for its clients and what it will not do, and it needs to govern itself openly, with ongoing transparency.

I am passionate about promoting the highest standards in the coaching industry.  As a member of the International Coaching Federation, I subscribe to guidelines that set a high standard for our profession.  I’d like to summarize those guidelines for you.  Review them.  Have them with you when you engage in the process of selecting a coach and commit mutually to follow them when you begin your journey.  They will get you to the border!

1. Discuss the ICF Code of Ethics with your coach and get your coach’s perspective on them.
2. Understand what is required in your interaction and agree on the process you will follow and the parameters of your relationship.
3. Your coach should create a safe, supportive environment that produces ongoing mutual respect and trust.
4. Your relationship should be open, flexible and spontaneous.
5. Your coach should be attentive and focused on your agenda (not the coach’s agenda).
6. Your coach should ask questions that are evocative, creating insight and inspiring action.
7. Your coach should be clear, articulate and direct in communicating with you, clearly stating the objective of your coaching process, setting up agendas for meetings and stating the purpose of techniques or exercises used.
8. Your coach should facilitate broader awareness, helping you to observe your concerns, habits, beliefs and perceptions.
9. Your coach should create opportunities for ongoing learning through brainstorming, exploration of alternative ideas and solutions and through experimentation.
10. You and your coach should develop and maintain an effective plan that is attainable, measurable and specific.  It should have a timeline and should be adjusted along the way.
11. Your coach should discuss your progress with you and hold you accountable for what you say you’re going to do.

The rules in corporate America have changed – sometimes there don’t even seem to be rules.  The structure, the security, the traditional paths to success don’t exist anymore, and people are looking to leaders for answers.

How can leaders set an example when employees are looking for direction and guidance?  How can they guide their companies to success in today’s uncertain world?

Coaching can help leaders do this.  It can propel leaders to set powerful, positive examples for their employees.  It can support them in making their organizations as productive as they can be.

In order to achieve your full leadership potential, here is what you should look for in your coaching relationship.  Your coach should:

• Create a mutual understanding of the coaching process and its parameters
• Create a safe, supportive environment that produces ongoing mutual respect and trust
• Ask questions that create insight and inspire action
• Create opportunities for ongoing learning
• Explore alternative ideas and solutions
• Develop an effective plan that is attainable, measurable and specific with a timeline
• Establish mutual accountability

When I think about all the change that’s happened in the past few years, I am staggered by just how challenging this period has been in our lives.  I encourage leaders to engage in a coaching relationship to more effectively help us as we slug our way through the chaos.  The world depends on it.

Darla Powell Phillips is a life and leadership coach who guides business executives, managers and professionals through powerful personal and professional transformations.  She is a member of the International Coach Federation (ICF) and a credentialed Associate Certified Coach (ACC).